Your heart is broken. He has cheated on you with another. He is cheating. You guys have been together for years. You never thought this would happen! Of course you think after this shocking discovery about it with him to go away. But you have built up so much together, maybe there are also children. You throw it all away for a few bad? He shows remorse and actually want both of you together. But how can you trust him again? It’s a long process.
Take the time to shock processing
The discovery that he has gone to another, is a shock, a psychological trauma. It does a lot of pain to figure out something that he had with another woman, that he not only shared the bed with her but also in other ways has been intimate with her. In her talk, his heart poured out, moments shared with her that you have no part of it was, in fact, that you did not know. Take your time to the shock process. Cry if you feel like it, cry, be angry, throw everything out, take a good friend in confidence. Stop your sadness away, but let it come to you there are no “leftovers” stuck.
Do yourself no pain
Of course, it is human, there are images in your mind playing him with the other woman. Try not to admit it. Questions like “Was it better than I do in bed?” Or representations of what and where it all took place do you only unnecessary pain. It is understandable that your self-confidence and self-love have suffered a dent but approach the problem from the positive side. Do not ask how the other person, but look at yourself. How are you?
Think of it as a ‘growth point’
Okay, that’s the last thing you want to hear. But it is true. The confrontation with adultery or cheating on your partner is painful but also gives you the opportunity to further develop yourself, make yourself questions about what you really want and what has prompted him in the arms of another collapse. What has led to this could have happened? Cheating never happens by accident. Analyze your relationship but do not fall into the trap of the ‘guilt’ (he’s fault because he did it, I am to blame because I’m still busy with the kids and did not pay attention to him had). Try things as objectively as possible to catalog them and see how you could improve the situation.
Take an informed decision
Actually, you only after the phase of anger and sadness and long moments of meditation and reflections make the decision of whether or not to leave him. Do you feel that there is nothing in the relationship, then break up probably the way forward. But often do you and your partner through a lot together and built and there is still much potential in the relationship. Explain the advantages and disadvantages, the good and bad sides of your relationship on the scale and take a decision.
Decision to you to stay with him, arms you with positive energy and work to make him forgive. Try to see the future with optimism and build together with your partner the foundation for your relationship further. It should of course be the same good will on his side are present.